Coping in the Thick of Things

We all know that understanding how our body responds to stress, recognising what happens within our nervous system, and employing preventative strategies to manage stress are vital.

But what do you do when you’re in the thick of things?

What happens when stress feels so overwhelming that you can’t breathe - when it feels like the weight of the world is bearing down on you, and you’re engulfed in darkness? That’s when coping becomes a real challenge.

In those moments, professional support is definitely recommended, as a therapist can guide you in resetting and regulating your nervous system helping you shift out of fight-or-flight mode. But, until you have the chance to get that external support, there are still strategies you can use in the moment.

One of the most powerful things you can do, is practice mindfulness. Being present in the moment can provide you the space you need to breathe. When I talk about ‘being in the moment’, I mean literally right now – taking it second by second. Because it’s only in the present that we have the power to make a difference.

Start with a deep, slow breath through your nose, then exhale gently through your mouth. This helps to calm your nervous system and regulate your breathing. Do this as long as necessary. As you breathe, feel the weight of your body on the floor or the chair beneath you. Notice the sensation of your clothes against your skin. You might even choose to focus on a part of your body that feels safe, such as your big toe. This is a technique known as somatic experiencing. If you’re curious about it, I encourage you to look it up for more details and specific exercises.

One of the most important things we can ever do is sit with our feelings – feelings are energy, so by acknowledging and allowing our feelings to be, they have the opportunity to be processed and leave our system. When we refuse to sit with our feelings through dissociation, numbing or distraction, all we are doing is shoving the feelings further into our body, where at some stage they will need to be released, either via an emotional eruption or through dis-ease in the body.

I completely get that sometimes this is extremely hard, as our anger, grief, fear, panic, anxiety etc. feels completely overwhelming - as though it will break us, or we will implode.

Being and feeling our feelings isn’t something we’re taught to do, in fact its discouraged. But it’s something I learned the hard way and I didn’t understand it until I hit rock bottom and there was nothing else to do.

As a society, we’re really not great with feelings – either our own, or others.

I remember once hearing a conversation between two women. One had recently lost her husband and was navigating intense grief. Her ‘friend’ said to her, “Once you feel better, let’s meet up for a drink soon.” That statement struck me deeply, as our feelings last, and take as long as they need to heal – you can’t rush grief, sadness or any other feeling.

No matter how long it takes to work through your grief, or other feelings - there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are doing what us humans are designed to do, and that is feel. It's only by allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, that deep healing occurs.

It’s also important to know that there are no ‘bad’ feelings. They’re just feelings. Of course, we all wish we could just experience feelings of love, joy and happiness, but that’s just not realistic. We need to learn to accept and make space for people to feel what they feel with no judgment or pressure for them to feel better asap, because their feelings make us uncomfortable.

Feelings are not contagious - yes you may feel sadness or empathy seeing a loved one struggle, but you can’t ‘catch’ what they are feeling!

We need to stop labelling individuals who wear their heart on their sleeve, or feel deeply as too intense or too sensitive, because all this does is increase the stigma and shame. Being real, honest and raw is true vulnerability, and this should be celebrated, not hidden away.

We are human, not robots. We struggle. We have days when nothing makes sense, when getting out of bed feels like a monumental task, and even making a simple decision can seem impossible. Instead of criticising ourselves for these moments, we need to offer ourselves compassion and accept that we’re doing the best we can.

In addition, we need to acknowledge that asking for help when life is overwhelming, is such a courageous act. It is not a sign of weakness, but of true strength, as it demonstrates that you have the insight or awareness to know when you can’t do things alone, and that you respect yourself enough to ask for help.

I wouldn’t be here today without external support, a huge amount of patience, and a ton of self-compassion.

It’s time for change in our society – we need to stop hiding how we feel. Let’s be real, let’s be authentic, and let’s live in integrity. By speaking our truth, and allowing others to see the real us, we can create deeper connections and, in turn, reduce the silent suffering and loneliness we often carry or feel. We are all in this together.

What feelings are you frightened of acknowledging or feeling?

Rosanna Commisso - Founder, StressCare Solutions

Championing Workplace Wellbeing | Mental Health & Trauma Advocate

As the Founder of StressCare Solutions, my passion for helping organisations navigate the growing challenge of stress and trauma in the workplace, is personal.

With over 30-years’ experience spanning health, training and community services, and my own lived experience with mental health, burnout and trauma—I bring both professional insight and ‘lived experience’ understanding to my work.

My mission is simple: to empower organisations, and their staff, with the tools they need to recognise, manage, and reduce stress before it leads to burnout, and to implement trauma-informed practices to support their staff.

Through engaging, evidence-based workshops, impactful speaking engagements, and trauma-informed workplace support, I help teams build resilience, improve wellbeing, and thrive.

Let’s build healthier workplaces—together.

📩 rosanna@stresscare.com.au | 🌐 www.stresscare.com.au